There’s a reason for it.

I honestly feel so discouraged, so beat down and so tired of it all. It’s like no matter how hard I try, I cannot control myself. I don’t know if it’s just in my head or if it’s a coping mechanism or what, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to seek help from a physician. 

I’ve gotten to the point where I have seriously considered gastric bypass surgery as an option because I feel as though that will be the only thing to keep me in line since I would get very sick if I went off the diet plan.

I just want to not feel this way anymore.

I just want to some help and some support from my mom.

All she ever tells me is how fat I have gotten but she never stops cooking foods that are unhealthy. And I know she’s not forcing them down my throat, but when it’s the only thing that can be smelled in the house then what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I am going to the doctor tomorrow to talk to him about seeing either a dietician or a psychologist (or possibly both).

This can’t go on anymore. I won’t let it.